Self reflections IV

It was late, very late. She sat on top of the steps that led to the crew cabins and smoked a cigarette. Thinking back she smiled as she remember the festivities that had taken place to celebrate her 24th birthday. Too much booze, as always, but still not enough to wash away the loneliness that engulfed her from time to time. As she took another drag, a door opened in the corridor below. He stopped when he noticed her sitting there. So forlorn, almost childlike. “You still up?” he asked as he approached her. “I just wanted to have one more smoke before turning in” she answered” I was thinking about home and wondering if they remembered my birthday” Suddenly she felt very vulnerable. He had seen her in her nightgown a thousand times before, yet now for the first time she felt exposed. She pulled up her knees and hugged them with her arms. “Move over” he had said as he came up “I’ll keep you company for a while” Later she didn’t remember what they talked about. Nothing important, her birthday probably or her family. She did remember the laughter in his eyes and the way he smelled. The warmth of his body next to her on the narrow staircase. As she finished her cigarette and got up to clear away the ashtray she half turned and there he was. His face only inches away from hers. As if it was the most natural thing he took he face in his hands and kissed her. “Happy birthday again” He smiled, looked into her eyes and at that moment she knew that this was the moment her life would never be the same again

Part III