Indifference

She and I never got along. She could push all the wrong buttons like no other, made me want to quit my job on several occasions. Still, you would think that I would at least feel a little sorry for what happened to her , I would for any other human being.
The small circle of people who really know me would agree if I told you that I am a friendly, pretty open, in your face kinda person. I am distraught when tragedy strikes, where ever, when ever. I cry when my children are sad, I grief when loved ones pass away, I get angry when provoked and I love to laugh. Why then is it impossible for me to feel anything but indifference when told that this co-worker was very seriously hurt in an accident?
Am I really this heartless ?

Restless

Restless. The messy house. Nothing is where it’s supposed to be. Slowly I am losing my balance. The living room is the only room that makes me feel comfortable. Salve Regina, full blast. I close my eyes and see the church, smell the incense. Candlelight shines on the statue in the niche, gives it a warm glow. Ave Maria. I see the faces of those dear to me. Living and the dead. Music relaxes me. Tenseness slips off my shoulders, as if a burden is lifted. I would like to drown in the sound of the choir. Nothing can move me more then music. It touches the depths of my soul, takes my emotions for a ride. Every composition touches another nerve, makes my tears flow, my heart beat faster
One more week, another seven days of disorder. Agnus Dei, miserere nobis