Self reflections IV

It was late, very late. She sat on top of the steps that led to the crew cabins and smoked a cigarette. Thinking back she smiled as she remember the festivities that had taken place to celebrate her 24th birthday. Too much booze, as always, but still not enough to wash away the loneliness that engulfed her from time to time. As she took another drag, a door opened in the corridor below. He stopped when he noticed her sitting there. So forlorn, almost childlike. “You still up?” he asked as he approached her. “I just wanted to have one more smoke before turning in” she answered” I was thinking about home and wondering if they remembered my birthday” Suddenly she felt very vulnerable. He had seen her in her nightgown a thousand times before, yet now for the first time she felt exposed. She pulled up her knees and hugged them with her arms. “Move over” he had said as he came up “I’ll keep you company for a while” Later she didn’t remember what they talked about. Nothing important, her birthday probably or her family. She did remember the laughter in his eyes and the way he smelled. The warmth of his body next to her on the narrow staircase. As she finished her cigarette and got up to clear away the ashtray she half turned and there he was. His face only inches away from hers. As if it was the most natural thing he took he face in his hands and kissed her. “Happy birthday again” He smiled, looked into her eyes and at that moment she knew that this was the moment her life would never be the same again

Part III

Serenity

This is my favourite time of the week. Early Sunday morning not a soul in sight, as I take the dog for a stroll through the park. A thin soft layer of mist hovers between the trees. Pearls of dew turn cobwebs into works of art. I love the way the willow tree reflects in the water, its beauty never seizes to amaze me. There is solace in its sadness. Ducks on the tiny island squabbling over who sits where, breaking the sound of silence. A heron, standing perfectly still, is waiting for breakfast to pass by.Breathing in, breathing out. This is the time I become one with the world around me. My eyes absorb colours, my nose inhales pure oxygen, just a hint of early fall in the air. My ears tuned to the singing of birds. Far away geese are starting to gather for their morning flight. Excitement clearly audible in the amount of sound they make. As I slowly make my way around the pond I am thankful that I am able to see al this beauty and to enjoy this serenity.

Battle with buffalo

Not only is Twitter a great way to keep up with friends, it also is a great way of sharing news and the latest finds on the www. Today one of my contacts found this video on Youtube and since she shared the url on Twitter I can now share it with you.
It's an amazing video where a group of buffalo come to the rescue of a calf that is snatched by lions.Once again it shows what you can do if you close ranks and go for it.
Some extra info, the guy (Frank) talking the strange languagein the background is actually speaking Afrikaans. A language that evolved from Dutch as it used to be spoken in the 17th century. I can understand most of what he is telling his mates on the radio.

Loneliness

I took a peek into the future today. Not a pretty sight I can tell you. My husband is away for a few weeks, child number one is in Portugal, number two is either at her own place or at her boyfriends and number three is (if not asleep) away at work most of the time. As Wednesday is my day of I had the house to myself and no one to talk to but the dog. He is starting to avoid me.. It’s a good thing all my limbs are still in good working order. At least the dog had a field day. Three lengthy walks where normally one is the norm (plus a few short ones, before you take pity on the mutt). I didn’t get a call all day. I tried phoning my friend, but she wasn’t at home and it wasn’t until late afternoon that someone came to the door and that was not even for me either, but the contractor for the house next door, picking up a key. I’m not counting MSN conversations nor the one-sided one-liners on Twitter or Numpa.


For the first time I could understand my mom a little better, how she couldn’t be bothered to get dressed anymore those last few years. Why she just sat in that comforting chair zapping from station to station, getting lured into participating in those stupid games that never brought her anything but huge bills. Why she would call me at the silliest of times just to say she needed to hear my voice.
So…if you have a family member out there that you know is all alone, pick up the phone. Not tomorrow but right now and ask them how they have been. Give them a few minutes of your time and make their day. I was on their wavelength more or less for just one day and I can tell you loneliness is an ugly feeling

Back in business

As with all good things, also vacations must come to an end. The streets in my neighbourhood are quiet, schools are still closed. Just a little less traffic on the road to my right as I drive my bike into the city. The beauty of the nature reserve on my left unchanged. Only the huge flocks of geese seem absent. It feels strange to enter the all familiar building after 5 weeks of recreational bliss. The youth ensemble is the only group present. New dancers approach me with reserve, there are too many this year, it will take a while before they are integrated in my system. ‘Old’ ones come in with arms opened wide. Talking excitingly about where they spend their vacation and with whom. They seem happy to be back. The main group is still absent, they have one more week before they need to get back into shape. A few colleagues are present, most office employees are still away. A slow start makes a huge difference. This way I can take my time getting back into the office routine. A new season, a new start.

PS I still owe you a detailed description of my time in Italy, if all goes well I’m going to post it later this week.